1. |
Gut Punch
03:35
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He buried you in Texas
I think it was July
Nobody saw you slip away
In the dark of the night
The smell of rubber burning
Out by San Antone
Then he found you in the dust
Fading lights and broken bones
It was a gut punch
When I got the news
I was rolling into Denver
He was feeling accused
I called a hundred times
He was a thousand miles away
Refused to entertain the thought
Everything would be okay
He could not indulge
Such a fantasy
He surrendered to the fall
He’s in a tailspin sinking deep
It was a gut punch
When I got the news
I was rolling into Denver
He was drowning his blues
On the edge
When night falls
A cracked heart
Is lethal
It was a gut punch
When I got the news
I was rolling into Denver
He had nothing to lose
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2. |
Divide
04:19
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I am too far leftward-leaning
Or I’m too intent on feeling
I just want us to be closer
And that takes a lot of work
I can hear the slight resentment
You swear that isn’t how you meant it
Convention’s too ingrained in you
Or you’re too afraid to hurt
I know change is hard
But what breaks my heart
Is it already was a loss to me
When we broke the nuclear family
Don’t pull yourself away
Divide
I didn’t join the military
And I didn’t have a baby
I can see you’re disappointed
Though you’d never use the word
I don’t go to church on Sunday
And I don’t make very much money
You won’t find what you expect in me
That’s a thing you’ll have to learn
I know change is hard
But what breaks my heart
Is it already was a loss to me
When we broke the nuclear family
Don’t pull yourself away
Divide
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3. |
The Old House
03:55
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The chair I love still sits outside
And it’s covered all in dirt
The lawn looks as dry as the forecast
The windows still don’t lock
‘Cause they’re a little off the track
Crooked keepers of the stories of our past
I drove by the old house today
I drove by the old house today
And all I could see was you
In the peeling paint and number on the door
I try but I can’t keep away
And my heart’s all black and blue
What do I keep going back for
The screen door slams
Like it did on us a million times
It reminds me how we never fixed the spring
It kept falling by the wayside
We pretended not to see
Let it slide like so many other things
I drove by the old house today
Chorus
I watched the dust rise up
Through the cracks in the floor
That we could never keep clean
If we’d knuckled down
A little bit more
Could we have mended all the seams
Chorus
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4. |
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Young child old town
Old legends new house
Sunrise rain dance
Last summer last chance
Racing to get through it
Never wanting it to end
Feeling broken acting tough
And wanting to surrender
That watermelon hill glows
In a cold and heavy night
A west-bound wind blows
Then the valley is out of sight
A storm in my mind
Visions thunder flash and pour
And when I wake I’m not
In Albuquerque anymore
Blue sky red dirt
How much are you worth
Sharp words kind hand
Strong woman wise man
Try to strike a balance
Keeping everyone appeased
Practice perfect keeping quiet
Following the leader
Chorus
Closed gate greyhound
Black diamonds playground
Church yard front door
Family no more
Going through the motions
Everything will be okay
Breathing in the land
And pushing all the rest away
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5. |
Forever and Evermore
03:24
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You took me to your grandmother’s
The whole family was there
Drinking red wine on ice
And yelling things in grandpa’s ear
I took you to Seattle
You got a kick from Uncle Dave
And Granddaddy said
You could use a haircut and a shave
These memories I’m keeping
I like ‘em better than the bad
And guard them in an effort
To protect the good we had
Yes I pulled the trigger
But we both lost the war
You can hate me for forever
But I’ll love you evermore
Your vices make me crazy
You can be stubborn and hard
I never got it baby
That that’s just who you are
How could I be who you need
When I never understood
Thought that I could swing it
But I guess my aim’s no good
I understand
I’m just a forked tongue to you
But I don’t think you’ve considered
That I lost someone too
Yes I pulled the trigger
But we both lost the war
You can hate me for forever
But I’ll love you evermore
I don’t regret one minute
But I let it go too long
Please take my apology
I wrote you this whole song
Yes I pulled the trigger
But we both lost the war
You can hate me for forever
But I’ll love you evermore
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6. |
How Would You Paint Me
04:47
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Would you paint me in Elizabethan collar
And a forty pound dress perched on a chair
Would you paint me looking down my nose in judgement
With the hyphen mouth and unforgiving stare
Of a pliant girl whose virtue is intact
Would you paint that
Would you paint me fat and peaceful in the forest
Posed suggestively by some provincial pond
Would you paint my eyes rolled back in satisfaction
Adored by men as green-eyed women look on
Because I have a certain knowledge some girls lack
Would you paint that
All the images you’ve seen
Affect your images of me
You feel confused when I am
Neither this nor that
God it’s getting dizzying
Looking back and forth between
What I am, what you expect
And what is left
If I’m an innocent no more
Then you label me a whore
Since my humanity’s ignored
How would you paint me
I would paint myself a face of consternation
On a body standing naked in the void
In a posture primed and rigid and expectant
There’ll be no accountability for boys
I can’t let go myself for fear of an attack
I would paint that
Chorus
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7. |
Inventory Your Life
04:05
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You’ve got to make a decision
Blame him or yourself
Your whole life is absurd now
And you don’t leave the house
Then a sudden revelation
Alters your point of view
But it’s hard to be grateful
You wish you didn’t know all of the things that you do
But all of life is precious now in ways you never knew
And you cry because it’s beautiful
And you cry ‘cause you’re bereaved
And you try to make it mean something
And you hope his pain’s relieved
It’s the people that make it
Not the critics or crowds
But the ones in the trenches
Beside you with sweat on their brow
You do a little contemplation
Inventory your life
In an instant you’re different
The lesson learned is bittersweet, the tears well in your eyes
To know his soul was lost and, consequently, you got wise
Chorus
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8. |
We'll Catch Up
05:05
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The minutes keep on racing
And there never are enough
We’ll catch up, we’ll catch up
I have so many questions
I should have asked when I was young
We’ll catch up, we’ll catch up
You’re a little older now, you’ve gone a little grey
I want to know what you were like back when you had your day
If you set aside this weekend
I’ll set aside mine too
We’ll go on for hours, me and you
I’ll take a trip to see you
We’ll go try something new
Isn’t that what people do
We’ll catch up in a day or two
I’m laying down the groundwork
While you’re learning how to fly
We’ll catch up, we’ll catch up
Could you meet me in the middle
Between the soil and the sky
We’ll catch up, we’ll catch up
Am I just like you when you were young like me
Give me some advice so I can follow your lead
Chorus
The river keeper’s waiting
To take us to the other side
He’ll catch up, He’ll catch up
Though we can’t beat him
Doesn’t everybody try
He’ll catch up, he’ll catch up
I just want to sit down and pore over both our lives
I feel like I hardly know you and we’re running out of time
Chorus
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9. |
Patriot
02:58
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Let’s get the kids up early
Get ‘em ready for the day
Pack a sack lunch and a kevlar jacket
Everything’s okay
We profit off of everything
Incarceration and disease
Don’t tax my corporation
Your poverty don’t bother me
And I feel so American
I feel so American
Consume without compensation
Blow up all the land
Siphon every resource
And keep the president on-brand
We welcome all the races
But the ones that aren’t white
We lock them up in cages
Or the cops shoot them on sight
And I feel so American
I feel so American
They call him a nepotist
A tax-evading narcissist
But I think he’s doing fine
Unless his mouth is moving
He cannot tell a lie
Feckless reckless
President of mine
And I feel so American
I feel so American
I feel so American
I feel so
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10. |
Can You Really Be Gone
02:59
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I keep what’s left of you in a shoebox
The best shirt you had and a picture of us
With a little glass vial of ashes and bone
If I give it away then you’ll really be gone
Sometimes around town I still see your face
And sometimes that makes me want out of this place
But I’d see you in dreams no matter how far I run
Every dawning of day a reminder you’re gone
You built something here
Your sweat and tears they pave this town
It’s been a few years
You echo everywhere since you’ve become unbound
I saw a picture from Atlanta today
The girl you never met is getting bigger each day
The spittingest image of her uncle John
If your blood’s in her veins can you really be gone
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Selena Rosanbalm Austin, Texas
A lot has happened since you last heard from Selena Rosanbalm. Her former country band Rosie and the Ramblers released
"Whatever You Need" in 2014.
Rosanbalm’s new record journeys through the shock of loss and the fog of grief, the sting of disappointment and the injustice of sexism and racism, the bitterness of accepting a hard truth and the beauty of a lesson learned.
... more
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